Days of Heat Haze
by FirstThingsLast
Summary: "Endlessly I see an overheated haze, and again the laughing will repeat on and on for days. We are trapped in cycles and the way is never clear. Though a cliche story is a story, it can only have one ending, it appears." .Based on the song Kagerou Daze by Hatsune Miku. .Story of Kenny dying with a twist. Crenny. .Rated M for violence, gore, profanity and sexual themes.
1. Ill

**Hello, guys! Please read this because it is important. (Sorry it's so much)**

 **I want to start with the WARNINGS. This fic will include a lot of course language, violence, sexual themes and gore. The profanity and gore are especially present so be aware of that.**

 **TRIGGER POSSIBLE. Because of the way this is written, it could be a trigger. It's not likely but there is a lot of internal termoil and some mentions of suicide and one almost attempt. You have been warned.**

 **Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about this story. This fan-fic has been all planned out and just needs to be typed out. I will post every week. As you can probably see, I also make my chapters rather long, this one being one of the shorter ones. It is a tad boring , in my opinion, but it's just the introductory thingy so I promise it'll get better~**

 **This is written in a stream of consciousness style, which basically means that it's the narrarators thoughts written out. It's a bit jumpy, and has less of a filter than it would if I had written it in another style. I don't normally switch POV's, but for this stories purpose, I have to. It won't switch during a chapter, the whole thing will be i one POV.**

 **This story is based loosely by the song Kagerou Daze/ Hays of Heat Haze. Each chapter will somehow represnt a verse, making 12 planned chapters. I might go go aove though depending on the reviews this story gets. GO LISTEN TO THE SONG THOUGGHHH. It's so good.**

 **Special thanks to Nicole, who proof read this, as well as Hatsune Miku for the song and Matt Stone and Trey Parker for the charcters. I own none of that.**

 **That being said, enjoy! Please review with constructive critisizm or nice things~ I'll gladly except both.**

Craig was stumbling around, even I could see as much and I was almost shitfaced. He had a horrible habit of being drunk whenever possible since we graduated.

I was eighteen now. Not much had changed at all. I had the same friends, and I, of course, never stopped dying. I was still poor as fuck and Cartman took every chance to make fun of it. Kyle had it bad for Stan, but he had a hard on for Wendy.

The only thing that'd changed was my boner for the noirette across the room.

Time wasn't kind to my reputation, though I'm sure if I didn't sleep with everyone that was willing, that'd help. Thanks to that, Craig would never even bat his eyelashes at me. That is, unless he was drunk.

Whenever he was drunk, he turned into a whole other person. For starters, he was a lot less uptight about everything, though it was still a chore to get him to smile. He was also the kind of person who became reckless when intoxicated. In a way, I guess he cared less about himself rather than hating everyone else. There was something he was going through. There was no way he was acting this way for no reason, he had changed. I don't think he knew I could read him like a book. A book that was torn and frayed, but still a book. I just wish I could help him out.

Kyle had been nagging in my ear about something. I wasn't paying attention to a word he said, my mind was too preoccupied. I think he noticed this and snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Earth to Kenny.."

I blinked a few times before looking at him. "O-oh, sorry. I was a bit distracted." I admitted with a nervous laugh. He didn't know how infatuated with the other I was, and I planned to keep it that way. It's not that I didn't trust Kyle, he was the smartest and most kind of our group. He wouldn't approve if I told him because he /did/ care and I wasn't ready to listen to a lecture on why Craig Tucker is an asshole.

"I was just saying how gross it is that Stan's all over Wendy right now... Get a fucking room..." He was half mumbling, half slurring. I'm sure the mumbling was from jealousy and not alcohol though.

I shrugged, feeling some sort of sympathy for him. I wanted to say something to lighten up the mood, but I'm short witted. "I know, dude. Even I agree and you know how I am."

That made him smile, which in return was contagious. "Exactly. Thank you." This was followed by a lot of silence between us before I decided to get up and leave him to sulk. He wasn't going to do anything else until he left.

"Ima grab a drink and try to actually socialize.." I rose to my feet shakily. The room was starting to spin slightly, but nothing that I couldn't handle. I was almost as pro as Craig.

"See ya. Be careful, dude." He said with a soft smile. I knew it was a fake one, but it still felt reassuring. I couldn't let him down.

He had gone from a bright, intelligent boy to a person with no hope. In truth, everyone but the ignorant had become unhappy after graduation. It was like a curse in this dumb town, and if it really was I think we'd all be indifferent, maybe even happy. Then it wouldn't be our faults, the solution would be easy. That wasn't the case, and in reality the fact that Kyle was so angry made him all the more miserable. That's why I just wanted to see him happy. Honestly happy.

There were a lot of people everywhere, from both South Park and Denver. Most of them I knew though, especially since we lived in such a small town. I made my way through all these people, glancing back to the corner that I was sure Kyle was looking in. The one where Stan was feeling up his girlfriend. My eyes than landed on Craig who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. God, could he look better?

His hair was disheveled, yet it didn't look messed up, it suited him. His dark eyes were staring down into his empty shot glass as his tongue ran over his lips. He had his hat on, as well as his jacket. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows though, probably because it was hot as balls in there. You'd think a family as rich as Token's could afford air conditioning.

I kept my eyes on the prize and couldn't help but wonder if he could feel me staring at him. I would definitely feel it if he was staring at me. It was a sixth sense we all had, except maybe not him. I chuckled because that'd be his luck. I was approaching him while in these thoughts, taking quick steps. I was sure I'd make it until I felt a hand grab my shoulder. Weight was put on it and whoever was grabbing me didn't know how to control their strength.

"Ayyyyyyy!" An obnoxious voice yelled out. "Why the fuck aren't you smashed yet? Hurry up!" As soon as I heard the laugh that followed, I knew who it was.

"Yo, Clyde. What do ya want?" I really wasn't in the mood, I just wanted to get to that doorway.

He stepped in front of me, a huge smile plastered on his lips. "Play beer pong with me!"

"I don't drink beer." I really didn't, so it wasn't a lie. I hated drinking alcohol in the first place, mainly because of the taste and the way it went down. I liked being drunk though, so I drank it.

"Cmooonn!" His smile sagged, but then soon returned. I honestly think he'd already forgot that I'd rejected him. He patted my shoulder with a hardy laugh. "See ya, man."

He really was a dumb ass, seriously the dumbest of humanity when he was drunk. He managed to keep Bebe under his sweaty, jock arm though. She was the hottest girl in town, the kind where even gay guys have to stare. Perfect curves, huge tits, a round ass and a gorgeous face. At first, I was sure she was still in it for the shoes, but then their relationship became stronger than Stan's and I assumed they were serious. It was going on four years now, and I knew they were the type to marry at twenty. They'd probably make a few babies and buy a house. Their marriage will most likely become an unhappy one though, they might even get a divorce. Or at least that's how it usually worked for young weds.

I definitely need a drink after that. Just thinking about that dead beat getting married to a hot girl while I can't even hold a steady relationship sickened me to no end. I had a few girlfriends, but I could never seem to commit. I always blamed it on them but maybe it was me too. We'd always play cat and mouse for a few days before they'd admit that they liked me. Shocker. That was the easy part though; they'd always need more. They'd start to talk about wanting to have kids and marriage and I'd run. I guess, in a way, that made me a coward. I guess that meant I didn't want to be like Clyde.

I started to wonder if I'd do that to Craig. I didn't want to think that I'd run from him. At the same time, I don't think that he'd want to do those things though. Maybe that's why I liked him. He was realistic, a bit blunt but still.

I continued on my path to Craig, swearing that I wasn't going to be stopped again. Some drunk chick bumped into me in her drunken stupor. She only bothered to giggle before wandering off. I'm not sure if that was what got the other's attention or if he just saw me walking towards him. When that icy state met mine though, I could feel my heart skip a beat.

I couldn't help the goofy smile that covered my lips. My pace quickened and carried me until we were at talking distance, which didn't leave much room between us. The music was loud, and I raised my voice to make sure he heard. "I noticed your glass is empty too. Lets get a drink together~" I pulled back just enough for him to see my expression.

"Fuck off and get it yourself." He practically spat at me. Either he liked the chase or he genuinely hated me. I'm sure it was the latter, but I was hopeful.

I whined like a little kid, which probably didn't help my cause. It also didn't help when I leaned in closer. I let out a soft, hot breath against his ear. "You look really good tonight..." My voice came out gruff.

He immediately ducked away from me, making sure I saw his annoyed expression. "You're so fucking annoying.. Leave me alone." He scoffed. There was a moment where he just looked at me like he was making sure I wasn't coming after him again. I think he realized I was done and relaxed himself with a sigh. "Go away."

He turned fast and tried to walk from me, stumbling on his away. I dunno if he thought I was stupid or if he was that drunk but I was going to follow. I was relentless.

"Hey, Craig. You enjoyin' yourself?" I heard a voice and looked to see Token propped up against a cabinet.

I backed off. I stopped in my tracks and took a few steps back until i was back outside the doorway. Token had grown to hate me over the years, and it was the worst kind of hate. The kind where he didn't make fun of me. He didn't talk shit about me or glare at me. He just hated me. The last thing I needed him to know was that I was in love with Craig, his best friend. I'd never see him again, especially since he already had a bad taste for me and it wouldn't be hard for Token to talk him into dropping me.

They were pretty much the only ones in the room. The room was big, equipped with a marbled island and every appliance a kitchen could ever need. The only thing it needed was a butler, but I guess his family was too 'humble' for that. Everyone was either dancing in the living room, playing games in the dining room, or making out upstairs. There was a keg in here that had lost its hype when some guy tried to do a keg stand and threw up so over the floor.

Craig tried to stand still, but he started wobbling. He took his hat from his head carefully and ran his fingers through his thick, black hair. "I'm definitely tipsy, but I dunno if I'm really enjoying anything else." I got a chill just from looking at him.

Token laughed some. "That sounds like you. Just don't clog up my sink again." The comment was light hearted, not something meant to actually insult. I didn't get the reference.

He moved his hat back to his head, having a bit of trouble placing it back on but he managed. "Yeah right. Fuck you, dude."

A hand reached out and patted Craig's shoulder. "Aye, just be careful."

"Thanks, Mom."

He shoved Craig playfully. "You wish I was your mom." He laughed before eyeing the raven again. He didn't look like he was checking him out though, more like making sure his friend was okay. He didn't appear nearly as fucked as he was so he got away with it this time. "Alright, bud. I'm gonna go check on Clyde. I'll catch you later."

"Yeah, all right. See ya." He gave a nod of acknowledgement, moving back some to make sure he was clear of Token's path.

Once he was gone from the room, I let out a breath I wasn't sure when I had started to hold in. In all honesty, I had felt bad that I had just listened in on their conversation, as innocent as it was. I didn't want to come out right away since Token could have been close by still. I knew Clyde was on the other side of the house, where the beer pong was happening. Ya know, the thing I don't play but I'm sure I'd be beast at.

Craig walked over to the counter where all the alcohol was spread out. It was like an alcoholics paradise, with everything from wine coolers, to beer, and hard shit like Kraken and Jack.

I was waiting for him to pour a drink, and as soon as he grabbed a bottle from the counter, I'd step back out into the room and join. He just stood there though. At first I thought maybe he was staring at something, but than I saw him begin to tremble, than a sniffle followed. Was he crying..?

I didn't know what to do at first. I wanted to hug him, and know why he, Craig Tucker, would be so fucking sad that he would cry. Why would someone as strong willed as him, someone who acted so tough, would break down so randomly. I knew that he was drunk and that he was going through something but I never pictured him crying.

I took a deep breath, the sight sobering me up some. I stepped out and into the room, making my presence know by clearing my throw. "Hey, baby! You miss me?" He peeked at me and than quickly turned his head away. I knew he didn't want me to see him cry. I wasn't complaining because I didn't want to see it either.

I threw an arm around his shoulders and held him against me. "Fuck off. Why are you following me?" I didn't see the middle finger he rose at first, it took me a minute. His other hand raised to his face and I assumed he was wiping his eyes. There was a bit of resistance but I held him tight.

"I told you I needed more alcohol! You just so happened to be here, which is a bonus~" I said cheerily. He went limp as he figured out that he wasn't going to get away.

"Why are you bothering me than? Just get your drink and leave." He finally looked at me, shooting daggers. His eyes were red and bloodshot.

I acted like I hadn't seen him crying, and I finally let myself be worried. "Wait, hey, are you okay?"

He grunted and turned to the counter again. "I'm just tired." He reached out and grabbed for a bottle of Svedka, filing his shot glass which was now sitting on the marble top.

I had to stretch out a bit but I managed to grab a red solo cup from a stack. I caught him before he put the bottle down. "Hey, lemme get that." I reached out for it. It was a shitty, cheap vodka but it was great for doing the trick. I screwed the cap on and put it back. I didn't do shots, it was a fucking pain to pour more when you're drunk. "So, what're your plans tonight?"

"To not hang out with you.." He mumbled. He picked up his shot and gulped it down, tilting his head back a bit. He cleared his throat after. "Christ."

"Too strong?"I questioned, the look in his face suggesting it was. Alcohol always seemed to taste worse the more drunk you got.

"Just nasty..." He shook his head.

I chuckled, picking up my own cup and swirling the liquid around a bit. I lifted it to my nose and smelled it. The scent was foul. I really didn't want to drink it though, it was so terrible. I forced myself to take a few chugs and my face instantly scrunched up in disgust. I set the cup down and wished I had a chaser. I wasn't about to let go of the other, so I'd deal. He was so close to me, we were touching. Having him this close, I notice that he was just a tad shorter. "So,when do I get a kiss?"

"This is why I don't hang out with you...you always try to get me to spread my legs for you."

"Oh c'mon! It can't hurt." I was hoping he'd be more compliant but he really wasn't. "And not your legs, just your lips!"

"Ewh, I dunno what diseases you have. It totally can hurt."

"Ouch.." I said as I put on the most hurt face I could. He didn't seem to care whether I was really hurt or not.

There was a silence, a heavy one where I was trying to think of something to say but there was nothing appropriate that I could. Nothing he'd care about anyway.

"Hey... Do you think I'm adopted..? And don't fucking make fun of me, I'm being serious." He suddenly blurted out, causing my eyes to widen.

I started to sweat, I swear I did. We had always made fun of him growing up. I don't think we ever took it into account that he might have really thought that. He looked different than his parents and sister. They were very light and his dad was a ginger, his skin had a tint though. He had dark black hair while their's was all light. The only thing they had in common was their icy blue eyes. "I... don't know... Why? Are you thinking about it?" I asked seriously.

He sighed. "They have papers they won't show me... That and you know, I don't even fucking look like them."

"Aye..I saw on tv that this lady, who was white as fuckin' rice, had a black baby 'cause of recessive genes or something. Maybe that's what happened to you." I really didn't know. My parents didn't have blonde hair, but my grandparents on my dad's side did.

He pursed his lips before shaking his head. "Yeah, right..and you're rich." He said sarcastically.

"Hah, I wish." He looked at me for a moment before looking to the variety of alcohol. "Did you ask them before..?"

He leaned forward enough to rest his head in his hands, his elbows on the counter. I kept my arm loosely around him, stroking the skin on his arm through his shirt with my thumb. "No. I dunno if I wanna know..." He admitted. I didn't want him to be sad, but in a sick sort of way, I was happy because he was opening up to me.

I ended up standing there for another eternity before I thought he'd passed out and decided to shake him. "Aye, how about I take you home? Like to your house, nothing dirty. I'm sure your parents are worried."

He shoved me away at the mention of going back to his house, finally having enough of my bullshit for the night. He looked repulsed by the idea, his eyes staring past me as he took a step back and opened a gap between us. His breathing came out uneven, like he was either furious or he'd jogged a short distance. He looked like he could fall over at any moment. He was slurring this entire time but it wasn't until now that I noticed the extent. "Whatever." he said. He had to be cut off now, before he got into serious trouble.

"I'm not going back to those traitors, not after what they fucking did to me." He turned to the counter and I immediately knew that he was about to pour himself another drink. I watched as the bottle shook in his hand as he attempted to pick it up until he nearly dropped it. I moved quick and grabbed it from him, keeping it from shattering.

"All right, I think you've had enough, dude. You can sip out of my cup if ya want." I picked my cup up from the counted and held it in his direction. It was only then that I realized how drunk I was myself. I couldn't hold it steady even if I tried. I really wasn't sober myself, and I really wasn't in any shape to babysit. I'd actually come to have some kind of fun, not escort Craig home. I was getting so sick of trying for no reason.

I had been trying to get him to take me serious for way too long. Years. Since somewhere around tenth grade. I hadn't seen him much in middle school, not until we had an art class together. That's when I had seen how nice puberty had been to him. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid my eyes on, as cheesy as that was.

His skin was light, though it had a hint of color to it, a light tan almost. I had thought maybe he was really Peruvian for a while but I gave up that assumption. He wasn't underweight, but at the same time he was far from over. He had shape, hips that we're incredibly touchable. He ate well, he just didn't take care of himself. His eyes could pierce the heavens with their blue luster. They were dark and somehow light at the same time, like glaciers. His black hair added contrast when it framed his angelic face. He had the lips of a child, they looked soft and plush, but somehow the most foul things stained them. Even with his brows furrowed, even with the angry look he was giving me now, he was still gorgeous.

"Why the fuck do you care how much I drink...?" It was clear he was through with listening to what I had to say.

In response, a laugh escaped my lips that probably sounded much more sarcastic than I meant. " 'Cause, as I've told you quite a few times, I like the shit out of you. And if you don't stop now, you're gonna hurt yourself. I dunno about you but that'd upset me.." I wanted him to understand what I was saying, to fully and utterly understand.

He didn't though, and I knew this as soon as he grabbed the cup from me. He slammed it down on the counter, the contents splashing all over it's surface. "Maybe I wanna get hurt! Maybe I just want my shitty life to e-"

"No! Don't you ever say that again!" As soon as I knew what he was about to say, I knew I couldn't let him finish the sentence. I got mad. I got frustrated and somewhere in the mix I grabbed his arm. "Craig...I know what its like. You don't want to fucking die...that's not gonna solve anything. I don't want you to go through that.." My voice softened and I tried to sound more sincere than I ever had.

He didn't react, just kept his gaze down as he tried to turn away from me. His hair blocked his face from my view as he looked towards the floor. I could see him trembling, and I felt terrible. I couldn't tell if he was angry at me or defeated.

I loosened my grip and he immediately took the chance to pull his arm away from me.

After what I was sure was hours, he stood up straight again. A loud chuckle left his lips and it scared me. He sounded almost as crazy as I thought I was. "Hurry up, fucker." He turned away from me completely and took a few steps before he froze. I was equally frozen as I tried to process what was really happening. "Are you gonna come before I change my mind?"

The music was loud and I was sure that my friends, or anyone, wouldn't hear me if I yelled for them. My eyes scanned the room for them as we shoved through it. I made sure to check back as often as I could to make sure Craig was following. To my relief he followed all the way out, though I didn't see Kyle or Stan.

Stan was probably off banging Wendy in some nasty hotel. Kyle most likely got fed up and left; he was never happy at these things. I know he would be a lot happier if Stan would just be with him but we all knew it'd never happen. Cartman hadn't been here at all which I'm sure he'd made an excuse for. He'd gotten lazier with age and now he did little to nothing. I couldn't complain though, Craig wasn't ever happy; at least my friends could be.

He climbed into the passenger seat of my truck once we were outside. I had to force him to put on his seatbelt, but I managed to get it on him.

I cursed when the piece of shit sputtered the first time and the engine didn't turn over. There had been a few times when it had broken down and I had to abandon it. I crossed my fingers that this wasn't tonight.

It started the second time. I drove until I arrived in front of his house, but he still refused to go in, so I ended up leaving. After that I presented him with a few options. One was going to my house and risk listening to my parents fight, which he didn't look to pleased with. The other was to sleep in my truck by Starks Pond. I hoped that, given the two, he'd change his mind and go to his house instead of being stubborn. That was the reasonable option anyway. The dumb fuck chose to stay in my truck though. He was lucky he was attractive.

I drove my truck slowly onto the dirt road that led to the pond, parking once I felt I couldn't go any further without getting stuck.

He cried again on the ride there from his house. I don't think that he knew that I saw. This time, I just let him.

We got out and after I worked my magic, we were able to lay in the back of my truck. I'd cleaned it out enough to put a blanket down in the bed.

We both rested on our backs at first, my hands in under my head for support as I stared up at the sky. I looked to Craig occasionally. Even if he was shrouded in darkness, I swear I could still see those eyes, like a beacon in the night. Hah. I was so tempted to say something like 'a beacon guiding my heart in for a landing.' He'd fuckin' hit me so hard.

"Clouds are such shit. Even at night they manage to block out the light." He complained. The clouds were definitely blocking the stars, which was less than romantic.

I sighed, trying to look at the bright side. "Whatever. The dark is kinda nice too. Besides, I thought you liked boring things like clouds."

I heard rustling but decided not to look. "I guess. This whole situation isn't boring enough though. It'd be more boring if I was in my bed."

I laughed just to laugh once the opportunity rose. "I mean, you could be... You chose to come out here."

He was quiet again, and it kind of eased my nerves this time. When it was quiet, there was no arguing, there was no crying and there was no preaching. I'd unfortunately grown to yearn the silence. Mainly because of my parents, but also because it was always associated with peace in this dumb down. I let my eyes fall shut as my nervousness died down. The only thing that I could hear was mine and Craig's breathing, and after a while it began to blend together. I swore that if it wasn't so fucking cold I would have fallen asleep. The other's voice ripped the hope of sleep away when he spoke though.

"Hey, not to be a fuckin drag, but since I already told you this shit I don't think it even matters if I keep going on.." He paused as if he was embarrassed by what he'd said. "Do you think that my real parents are looking at the sky too? Like by some sick coincidence. Do you think that they felt some weird urge to go out and look at the moon? I mean, or sun, wherever they are. Do you think they miss me at all?"He sounded unsure of what he was saying. He was still drunk though so it made sense.

I turned my gaze to him again, my eyes sliding open to see he remained on his back. He was still looking at the sky above, but I don't think he was really seeing it. I rolled onto my side with what little energy I had left to face him. I had to shove my hair out of my eyes when it fell in my face. "They might be..I used to wish the same thing. I also think that they miss the fuck out of you. Ya know, we don't know you're really adopted yet, so maybe they're staring at a clock and wondering when you'll be home."

He shook his head, brushing off my comment about not being adopted. "What if they're not together..?"

That question was more difficult because it was more than likely the case. A lot of people give up their kids for that reason. "Even if they are, I still don't think they wanted to give you up. I think that they had to, and even if they're not together I'd bet money that they still both think about you."

He blinked a few times before giving a small nod. I smiled because I know that I might have made him feel better. I silently promised that I'd confide in him sometime. I kept staring at him as I got lost in thought and I think it eventually made him uncomfortable. He kept peeking at me from the corners of his eyes.

"Wait, why did you have a blanket in your truck?"He slowly propped himself up on his elbows, turning his head to give me his full attention. I could tell he was thinking the worst.

"Well, why else would I have it? It's for when I get a little lucky~" I clicked my tongue suggestively and watched his face morph into pure disgust. I cracked up at that alone, and I was glad he realized I was joking before he got up fully. "Calm down, it's only for when I need to sleep out here. Like when my parents fight or when I'm too drunk to drive anywhere."

I saw that it finally dawned on him that I had just been tipsy not too long ago. "You asshole! You didn't even remind me that you drank! What if I died!"

"Shut up, I got us here. I was pretty much sober after your little episode. Besides, that's why I made you wear your seatbelt...I just wanted you to get home but we see how well that worked."

He sighed audibly, his tended body relaxing some. "You just love to fuckin' scare me... If you ever drive drunk again I won't just kill you, I'll literally cut you slowly. I'm so fucking cereal.. "

"I can't take you seriously when you quote Al Gore.. But it won't ever taken happen again. Cross my heart. You should still give me incentive though. How about you promise we'll hang out again..?" I felt terrible about my clouded decision now, and I was grateful that my dumb ass didn't kill us yet. "Aye, you have to admit that my driving was better than the old peoples though."

He groaned. "Seriously...? I don't even know why I'm with you now, you almost murdered me.."

"Well, ' cause I'm hot, for starters.."

He scoffed. "Yeah right, who told you that lie?"

"Go to sleep, Tucker, you're drunk." I teased and he grunted in response.

"Fine... I am a little dizzy.." He muttered before falling silent. It wasn't long until I heard small snores coming from his side.

I wanted to join him, but my mind always kept me awake when I wanted to sleep the most. It'd race with thoughts about unimportant things and important ones at the same time. It all kept going back to Craig though. Would he still like me in the morning, or would he go back to his normal habits once he was sober again? He had confided in me but he was drunk so it meant close to nothing.

I yawned. My eyes slipped shut again as I listened to his steady breathing. Somehow, in my sleepy thoughts, I was ironically reminded of a song that played at the party. I liked it, I'd listened to it a thousand times before but now it was stuck in my head. It was called something like 'Days of Heat Haze'.

I mindlessly hummed the opening quietly, starting to lull myself deeper into the rift between sleep and consciousness. The more I fell in, the slower my singing got.

"It happened around midnight on August fifteenth without a single cloud in the sky, the sun is shining bright. What a pretty day. The weather around us was starting to make me feel ill. I, with nothing better to do, was spending all my time talking with you and keeping everything at bay..."


	2. Black Cat

**Hey, sorry about the delay! Fourth of July and it's parties fucked up my schedule. I'ma post the third chapter Friday and actually on time.**

 **There's a little fluff and a mention of Creek. There's some gore at the end also, so watch out for that!**

 **I've also decided that the song lyrics will be in Italics, so keep that in mind.**

 **Other than those few notes, I hope your Fourth of July was fun! I don't own Kagerous Daze or South Park. Credits go to Matt Stone and Trey Parker as well as Hatsune Miku for the song. Special thanks for Nicole for proof reading this! I hope you guys are as excited for the next chapter as she is!**

 **Review and let me know if I should continue! i really really appreciate reviews.**

_..._

 _"Hey but I don't really like the summertime." I hear you mutter under your breath as your hand strokes a darkly shaded cat. Ah, and as the cat ran away, you tried to chase it, but you couldn't see that you'd thrown yourself before a flashing red light, bright red._

I woke up suddenly, a scream resting in my throat but never escaping. I had jolted into a seated position. My breathing came out sharp and uneven after I swallowed hard. When my hand brushed across my forehead it became damp from sweat that plastered my hair to it. I took a deep breath to try and relax myself, waiting for my mind to eventually stop racing. When I remembered where I was, and noticed that Craig was still alive and beside me, the world lifted from my shoulders.

As if he knew what I was thinking about, he spoke out. "You were having a nightmare. You kept talking in your sleep but I couldn't understand what you were saying..." His voice was raspy, most likely because this was the first time he was using it today. He was propped up against one of the walls of the truck's bed, his hat in his lap as he ran his fingers through dark hair. Dark eyes squeezed shut. "Fuck, my head really hurts. I don't remember why I'm here so you're going to have to fill me in..." He sighed heavily, clearly agitated by the situation.

Him saying that reminded me of my own splitting headache for some reason. It was going to be a migraine later, I could tell simply by the pressure behind my eyes as well as how heavy my head felt. I pressed on them, hoping to relieve some if the discomfort but it didn't. I just wanted to go back to sleep. If Craig wasn't here I would. He was sober now but I still wanted to make sure he got home all right.

I reached my fingers to the back of my neck, pressing the tips into the tended muscles. My head fell forwards to expose more skin. Rubbing my neck was something I was good at since I had to do it a lot. I never really rubbed anyone else's neck except for Kyle's. After that he insisted I become a masseuse, but I really wasn't interested in it. I kind of just did it because I had to.

The sun was out, illuminating everything in it's path. It was blinding thanks to my pounding headache and made it difficult for me to open my eyes again, which had fallen shut during the massage. I forced them open though and dealt with the burning. It burned like hell, but I managed. Craig was looking at me with that icy stare that turned me on.

I could see the way he was looking at me; with pity and a hint of concern. I don't know if he realized that I was the better off of us two. I rubbed my face until I was sure that it was red, my eyes especially.

"How late is it..?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer. He shrugged.

"I dunno where my phone is.." That was a bit concerning but something we could figure out after we both had a few Advil and some coffee.

I felt all over myself until I found my phone in the back pocket of my pants. I flipped it so it was the right way up than pushed the lock button. My eyes took a second to adjust and read the numbers. I had to squint like an old man to see the time. "Ugh, its two..." I whined.

He joined in on the complaining with a groan. I put my phone down on the blanket that protected us from cold metal. It was all tangled and bunched up, obviously from one of us tossing and turning.

"Why did we sleep in the bed of your truck again?"

I climbed onto my knees and crawled to the back window. I slid it open with a quick tug. The piece of shit was so old I couldn't lock it shut and it took too much energy to open. I reached in, having to stretch to grab the pack of smokes I'd left on the seat. "You didn't want to go home. You actually refused." I almost dropped them I was so busy responding but thankfully I didn't.

Falling back onto my butt, I opened the pack and popped one in my mouth without hesitation; I was really craving one right now. Deciding to be nice I held it out for him next. "I even drove you there and tried to get you out."

He stared at the pack before eagerly taking one. "Are you fucking serious? So I chose to sleep in this nasty ass truck?" He put it between his lips before looking at me expectantly, most likely waiting for the lighter.

It was in the same pocket my phone was in, all the way in the bottom where I could barely dig it out. I leaned over and flicked the lighter so it was going as I held it out to him. He leaned forward enough so that the tip touched the flame. He made sure the end glowed red before he leaned back. The wind blew the flame out so I had to get it started again before I could light my own. Once I did, I took a long drag. I swore I felt better almost instantly. Done with it, I threw the lighter onto the blanket.

"My trucks not that nasty, dude. Besides, I laid a blanket down!" I half joked. He rolled his eyes at the comment, taking a puff from his cigarette before replying.

"I dunno where this blankets been..."

He was clearly drunk out of his mind last night if he forgot already what I said I used it for. "I told you last night it was for when I had to sleep out here. Like if my parents are fighting or I'm too drunk to drive home. " I repeated the same explanation from earlier.

He nodded. "Shit, man. I was really fucked up, huh?" He paused as if he'd made some startling realization. He pursed his lips together before opening his mouth a few times, like the words wouldn't come out. "Did I say anything ...embarrassing?"

I thought about lying but I honestly I couldn't; especially not to him. "You went on about how you think you're adopted and I tried to calm you down but you were too upset.."

He smiled at me for the first time, only it wasn't the kind I wanted. It was sad. It was very ironic in the way that my life always was. I never thought that I'd rather see him frown until now.

He took another drag as he shook his head. His brows were furrowed, knitting inwards. The smoke slowly left his mouth and he watched it as it did. His chest curved inwards until nothing but air came from between those precious lips. With a flick of his hand he knocked the ashes from his cigarette. As if enough air hadn't already left him, he sighed.

It was a while before he said anything else. He slid his legs towards himself until his knees were close to his chest, his arms limply resting over them. He stopped smoking so the ashes slowly began to fall themselves. "What did you say to me...? Or... What do you think?" he asked.

I laughed bitterly. "I told you that recessive genes could have made you look different and regardless, even if your mom didn't give birth to you, they're still great parents." If he couldn't remember that than I doubt he remembered my confession from last night, which really kinda sucked.

I finished my cigarette before tossing the butt into the snow on the ground. I almost never had to worry about putting it out thanks to the shitty weather. It was a normal summer for about two days around here, and when it wasn't normal this was as warm as it got. That's the only reason we could sleep without a blanket and I could sit here with my jacket open.

I impulsively leaned forward to flop onto him, resting against his shins. He didn't push me away, he just flinched before flipping me off. "What the fuck, dude.."

I turned my head to gaze up at him. "Well, I never get to see you alone, so I'm enjoying myself.."I smiled like an idiot as he exchanged the glance.

"You're such a fucking loser."

_..._

We didn't do much of anything else except sit around and make idle conversation. Once I saw him getting fidgety, I figured we should leave. We got into my truck and this time he put his seatbelt on automatically. He muttered something like 'try not to kill us' as I backed out and onto the main road.

From there, it was pretty much a straight shot to Tweak's Coffee. I got jealous of the way Craig looked at Tweek, though he did look cute in the apron. I especially liked the way the strings wrapped around his small waist. We got our coffee to go and headed out to the park.

We decided to walk over since we had nothing better to do. "You don't have work?" I asked before taking a sip of my coffee. I had paid with what little money I had, I had a serious addiction though, and it was worth it to pay for Craig.

He shook his head as I looked at him. He had tried to fix his hair in the bathroom, slicking it back with a little water. A few strands still managed to fall into his face. He looked good either way though. His lips were a little chapped, and there were bags under his eyes from the lack of rest. He hadn't brushed his teeth, which I knew he had a problem with since he was already self-conscious about them. I should have found all of that unattractive, yet I didn't. I wanted to press my lips into his more than ever.

I had self control though, so I didn't. "I thought about applying at Large Mart." I told him, forcing my mind from thinking about how nice he looked to me.

He nearly choked. "No." He said before coughing lightly.

"Now I really want to apply~" I teased and he shot me a glare. I would have felt offended if I didn't know better.

He grunted. "Or you could just not do that and spare me the annoyance. It's bad enough without you there..."

"Yeah, but that'd get us nowhere in this relationship.." I said thoughtfully.

He stopped walking, his brows furrowing as he held his coffee in both hands. I was waiting for a look of disgust but instead he almost looked worried. "Wait...d-did I say yes to something I shouldn't have last night...?"

I cleared my throat, a smile on my face. "Lemme remember your words exactly. It was something like 'You look good tonight..wanna go out sometime?'"

"No fucking way..." He blinked a few times.

"Yeah, I guess the truth comes out when you're drunk~" I continued the gag and watched as he turned his face away from me. He mumbled a 'whatever' and I burst out laughing. " Not gonna argue it?"

"It's not like I can take it back now." He mumbled.

Wait, was he really okay with this? I made a mental note of that before giving it up. The longest the joke went on, the more angry he'd get. " Relax, I was just kidding, dude. We're not going out, though I'd like it if we were."

His expression twisted into one of anger like I knew it would, and he stormed passed me. "Have I ever told you that I fucking hate you?"

I followed, still chuckling. "Yeah, yeah. You tell me all the time. I think you're just in denial." I gulp down the last of my drink. I threw the cup in the garbage by the theater. As I mentioned, I have a bit of a problem with coffee, which means I drink it everyday. My body craved caffeine too much at this point for me to give it up and there was an ongoing joke between us guys that I'd be able to quit cigarettes easier. It didn't matter to me though, the only thing it hurt was my wallet and that money was never mine. If I had job and had to work for it, it'd be a bit more painful.

As the cup hit the pile starting to form on top of the can, something moved and caught my attention. Craig kept going but I grabbed his arm.

"What..?" He asked, annoyed.

"Look." I pointed to the side of the trashcan.

He ripped his arm away and stepped closer. "What..?"

I followed as we walked around the trashcan, a black cat coming into view. "See." It stared up at us, it's tail flicking around. It was most certainly a stray but it's fur somehow looked so clean. The only other color he had was a white rift on his chest. His mouth opened as he meowed and exposed a pink interior with rows of pointed teeth.

I looked to Craig for what feels like the millionth time today. His face seemed the same but different at the same time. There was something in his eyes that made my heart race, his mouth hanging agape slightly.

I let out a shaky breath as I stared at him. After a moment I turned away and knelt down, outstretching a hand palm down. "Nuh uh, you gotta do it palm up or you'll scare it." He held his hand oppositely, squatting next to me. He made a pst noise to call it and after a minute, it came.

I let my hand fall to my side as I watched it rub against his . A soft purring sounded and Craig started scratching behind it's ears. After a moment of these tender touches, the raven slowly and carefully picked it up in his arms, cradling it like it was fragile. It fidgeted around at first like it didn't want to be held. "Shhh, it's okay." It stopped after a second, Craig clearly earning it's trust. He stared down at it, the cat returning the gaze before head butting his chin affectionately.

A smile covered his lips, this one genuine. I couldn't help but to think, holy fuck he's gorgeous. He's gorgeous and I can't help myself. I stare at him and he notices, meeting my gaze. His cold eyes make my heart skip a beat all together, my breath getting caught in my throat. His smile started fading slowly but it was too late.

"You're so beautiful..." Before he could move I leaned in and kissed his cheek. I let my lips linger against the soft, warm skin. He didn't move, only stared at me. His cheeks had a new tint once I pulled away and I was sure mine had the same. I was speechless, I wanted more. My eyes caught sight of those lips and I moistened my own with my tongue. He watched me carefully so I knew I'd have to be quick. I planted my hands on the ground so i could lean in more steadily this time as I inhaled sharply. I moved towards him but jerked back when I heard a startled noise come from his throat.

Suddenly he fumbled and I watched the cat leap from his arms. I stood and turned in the direction it started to run in.

"Wow, good going. You scared it off." He said dryly.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Whatever, it was worth i-"

"Holy shit, its going for the road, dude!" Craig said worriedly as he cut me off.

"I'll get him." I jogged after the cat but it stopped once it heard me coming. "Here, kitty kitty~" It turned to watch my every movement. I mimicked it, my hands up defensively. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Fucking slow down." Craig yelled.

"Working on it." I took a slow step, bending over a bit. The cats ears turned backwards, getting shifty eyed the closer I got. I was sure I had it and I quickly moved to grab it. It ran though and all that happened was I grazed against its fur.

I stumbled forward, running as soon as it ran into the road. I couldn't stop, I couldn't let it die. I was so close to getting it, just a little bit more.

I felt the step down from the sidewalk to the road. I could feel my feet slam against the pavement as I stepped too hard. My hands balled up as I prepared to run faster. I was getting tunnel vision, forgetting the whole point being somewhere in the haze. The cat suddenly stopped and turned to me again. I let out a laugh of triumph. It was on the sidewalk and sitting, so it was both safe and within my grasp.

It was all too good to be true in a life like mine though. I heard Craig let out a strangled cry, the fear in his voice alone made my stomach drop. "Kenny!" I turned mid step to see the terror take over his face.

A horn honked, tires squealed and another agonizing scream came from the other. I went to turn my head to the threat but I was suddenly hit from my left side. I heard cracking, then felt the burning pain of broken bones before I hit the concrete.

I let out a moan. No matter how many times that happened, it would never hurt any less. I knew I wasn't going to make it almost immediately.

My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to move, but my body continued to lay limp where it was. This kind of death was the worst because you felt every part of your broken body until you finally went into shock or bled out.

I let my eyes tiredly fall onto the cat. His own yellow orbs seemed to mock me. I didn't care.

Someone in the distance yelled to call an ambulance.

All I could think about was about how much my body hurt, but thankfully it soon didn't. Then it all went black.


	3. Blood

**Sorry this chapter is a bit short, I didn't want to force too much. Also, as I said last chapter the song lyrics will be in italics and, for this chapter, bold.**

 **I do not own South Park or Kagerou Daze. The rightful owners are Matt Stone, Trey Parker and Hatsune Miku. Also, thanks to Nicole for proofreading.**

 **If you like this, please review and let me know if you like it, because right now I'm not sure if I should continue.**

 **Thank you!**

_..._

It was a really nice day. The sun was out, and it was warm for our mountain town. People were out and about because of this. They were walking their dogs, out taking a stroll with someone else, and some even went out alone. The streets weren't crowded, just significantly busier than they usually were.

I hated it and I hated summer.

I got anxiety from doing something as simple as this, then to make things worse, I barely got out of my house so that also amplified my discomfort.

The sun was blaring down on our heads. I had taken my hat off to try and keep myself cool but I had somehow forgotten that my black hair was like a magnet to the heat. Either way I was going to sweat like a sick pig so I kept it the way it was. Hopefully that'd turn Kenny off.

Of course it didn't, which I found out through the form of a kiss on my cheek. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't like it though. I blamed it on the fact that I hadn't ever really dated anyone.

I think everyone knew I was into both guys and girls. I'd never really met anyone other than Kyle and Kenny who were as open as me, so there wasn't any options for guys to hook up with. I wasn't that desperate yet. The girls around here were stupid, stuck up, or way too clingy so that was out of the question as well.

Like he managed to always do, he ruined what made me happiest and scared the cat away. I had to appreciate the effort that he put in to get it back though, it was almost like he didn't want to just fuck me. I knew that wasn't the truth despite what he did. He was known for 'dining and dashing', for lack of better words. I wouldn't think that someone like me was any different. Tammy was beautiful, smart and super sweet and he did the same to her in a heart beat, and I wasn't any of those things so I never stood a chance.

I moved and was alive. That just so happened to be his standards.

He'd obviously never dealt with stray cats before because he looked like an idiot trying to catch this one. He was doing everything wrong and it clearly had enough skill to evade. I moved closer to the curb to keep a close eye on them. I watched as his fingers grazed dark fur, everything after that was a blur though.

The sound his feet made as they hit the road echoed in my ears and I knew something was wrong. Something above drew my face to it. My head became fuzzy as I watched the light from the lane he was in turn green while the others turned red.

My eyes suddenly darted to the vehicles below it and landed on a very large one. My breath stuck in my lungs as it started to move forward. All the driver of the truck saw was the change in hue and went, not even noticing the orange clad boy running across the pavement.

My voice caught in my throat at the worst time possible, my heart dropping down into my stomach. I hadn't had another breath since I started holding it. When it did finally come out it was shrill and loud; I'd never sounded like that in my entire life. I was frantic, desperate.

His feet slid against the ground as he tried to stop himself. He began to turn to me and I begged every god there was to let this be a cruel dream.

I knew it wasn't though. The sound of the drivers horn snapped me back to the cold reality that I lived in.

I could hear the sound of Kenny's body against the front bumper as the brakes after the collision instead of before.

 _ **Speeding in and smashing you to the ground, the truck heard a scream just a little bit too late.**_

Within the same second he was thrown onto the ground with a loud slap. It felt like it took an eternity, like he was falling in slow motion. I saw every detail, from the expression of fear the consumed his face to the way his arms had raised to try and block the force that collided into him.

I never realized just how strong but fragile out bodies were. He was still in one piece yet I knew he wasn't okay. He had bent at an unnatural angle in a few places. He was broken.

He didn't moved after he hit the ground. It was so too surreal, I was in denial. I was as still as he was while my brain tried to process what was happening. How did this happen? Somewhere in the shock my coffee slipped from my grasp and splattered across the concrete. I had dug my fingers into the styrofoam when I'd screamed, causing there to be a stream of it running up my arm. It didn't matter though. Nothing else did.

Someone screamed to call an ambulance and I saw his body shift slightly. It was so subtle that I never would have noticed if I wasn't wide-eyed and staring right at him.

I was forced out of shock and began to run towards him.

The trucker was just getting out, the look on his face was less than concerned and it pissed me off. I knew it was more important to go to Kenny than to punch his dumb fucking face though, so I pushed passed him and to the other.

 _ **Blood was dripping everywhere mixing with the smell you wear, and as I saw the color nice and clear I began to sob.**_

His blonde hair was matted to his head with the same blood that was seeping from the corner of his mouth. His eyes were unmoving as he looked at the cat who had caused all of this. The cold, glassy stare sent my body into a frenzy of emotions. They weren't as bright as they usually were, in fact, they weren't bright at all. That look alone told me he was gone. His limbs were lying limply at his sides, one bent at an angle that made me want to puke. I leaned over anyway and touched him, feeling for any signs that he was still breathing.

Nothing.

I felt his pulse, becoming frantic.

Nothing.

 _ **I could hear the heated haze laughing and mocking me, screaming over and over again "This is not a dream."**_

"K-Kenny..?" My voice came out weak. I fell onto my knees, not caring how much the rock burrowed into them. My knuckles turned white from how hard I began to grip his arm. I was gentle at first, but the longer he didn't respond, the more rough I got. "C'mon, Kenny..please.. answer me..." This couldn't be real, please let this be some sick and vivid dream.

"It's over kid, he's gone." The trucker said blandly.

Something inside of me snapped and before I knew it I was back up and onto my feet. My hand was balled into a tight fist, mid-swing on its way to his face. Every ounce of energy I had left was put into the blow. This was quite obvious when he started to stumble back and eventually lost his balance, landing flat on his ass. The first thing he did was grab his nose, which looked to be broken. He pulled his hand back a moment later to look at the blood that now covered it.

I don't know when but I'd started crying. I could feel the streams of tears rolling down my cheek as I breathed rather heavily. Only a moment after realizing this, I began to sob uncontrollably. I hated thus prick for being here, I wish he was the one who'd died.

I took a few steps that felt like I was walking through quicksand until I was staring down at Kenny's limp body again. Tears fell like raindrops onto him.

I didn't notice as the guy climbed back into the box truck and proceeded to drive away. I didn't hear the sirens as the police barely missed him and the ambulance brought out their stretcher.

I kept crying until I couldn't anymore.

_..._

My parents were called by someone and I decided to forget every bad thing I ever thought about them for now. They didn't want me to watch as they put Kenny's body into a bag so they forced me to the side of the ambulance that blocked it all out. Maybe it was for the best. The cop asked my parents if they could speak with me and though they left, I refused to talk.

It was the same way on the way home. My parents wanted to talk, not about 'the incident', but it still made no difference. I still had to watch someone die.

Maybe I should have instantly been emitted to the psych ward. My parents talked about therapy when they thought I was asleep. They decided we wouldn't go home right away and would go for a drive up the mountain. I was in the mood to not exist though, so I sat quietly with my head against my window. I'd let my eyes slide shut because either way, all I could see was his crippled body lying on the smoldering concrete.

I understood them. I was a fucked up person as it was and now that this happened I was guaranteed to be unstable. I stole, I was usually drunk, my grades were far from great, I acted out far too much, profanity was my second language, I hated my parents, I hated my friends and I hated my life. It was easy to agree with therapy being a good option.

I thought about suicide on the way back. I didn't want to live with therapy and the image of a dead friend keeping me from living ever again. I didn't want to be sober. I didn't to have to take pills to knock me out and ones to keep me alive. I didn't want to do this alone but I was always alone.

A fantasy of leaving through my window once we were home consumed my thoughts. In this daydream, I stand on the edge of a bridge while the water rushes by below. If the impact didn't kill me the waves would drown me. The moonlight lit my surroundings enough for me to see where the ledge stopped. The wind would caress my skin with such coolness that it would reassure me of my decision. I didn't want to feel anymore. And just like that I wouldn't.

I was a coward though, I could never kill myself. I wanted to live, just not my life.

I needed to stop thinking about it before I made a rash choice. I wanted to look through the window for a while and lose myself in the image of the outraging road under our tires.

I got sick almost as soon as I sat up though. I made my mom pull the car over so I could empty my insides out through my mouth and nose. I had thrown up so violently that I was trembling afterwards. My dad came to rub small circles on my back as I remained on my hands and knees, my face hanging down into the ditch. I dry heaved when there was nothing left to spill from my stomach. This lasted to the point where my dad wanted me to go a hospital. I refused.

My breathing was jagged as I stared at the ground. A haze covered my eyes, tears beginning to pour from them. Every blink brought a tidal wave of sorrow. The sound of crickets filled my ears as well as my dads whispers that it was 'okay'...he was lying yet again. I was able to cry again just like that.

I wiped my face on my shirt once my sobfest ended. We climbed back into the car and I had to stare at its ceiling to keep the sadness from overwhelming me.

 _ **I can hear all the crickets cry, the sound coming from the sky. Without knowing I fall into a deep sleep.**_

The small bumps we hit were almost lulling. I asked them to turn up the radio. It helped to drown out my thoughts with its upbeat rhythm.

My eyes slipped shut and I hummed along quietly. I think the song was called Dreams, or something. It was by that guy who sang Loser.. Fuck if I remember.

My body relaxed for the first time since I'd gotten that kiss.

Mm, that kiss.

It was sick, but all I could think about with that song playing in the background was that I really wanted another one from him. Even that was like heaven when I lived in this hell.


	4. Ticking Clocks

**Oh my goodness, i am so sorry that i didn't upload in forever.**

 **I went to Otakon as Craig and cosplayed tons of Crenny. I also went through a lot of shit but I'm good now. My goal is to post three chapters by Friday, including this one. so i hope to post Wednesday too. My proof-reader is a trooper.**

 **Please let me know if this good enough to continue! Reviews motivate me.**

 **This chapter is mostly fluff, relationship developement stuff.**

 **I do not own Kagerou Daze or South Park. The respective owners are Hatsune Miku, Matt Stone, and Trey Parker. special thanks to Nicole for proofreading everything~**

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

 _ **Waking up in my bed, I can hear the sound of clocks that seem to ring in my head. What time is it? August fourteenth at twelve something noon, I day outside looks really very nice. Yet I can still hear the cries of the crickets screaming loudly in my head.**_

I was awoken by the sound of my guinea pig squeaking for no apparent reason. I yelled at him to shut up in my sleepy haze before rolling onto my stomach and shoving my face deep into my pillow. A groan involuntarily left my lips.

He listened to my plea and stopped, leaving the room silent yet again. I could hear nothing but the sound of my clock ticking now.

I felt bad for being so cruel to the poor thing but it seemed that no one was immune to my attitude. He'd never know how much I loved him either way. He'd die soon like they always did and I'd replace him in a couple of days. That's the way it always went.

I turned my head so that my cheek was resting against the cool fabric of my pillowcase. The room was decorated with a bunch if things that I liked. I wondered what Kenny liked.

Not that it mattered now, all of the emotion that he had was taken away with one blow to the side. He was nothing more than an empty vessel now.

I knew that the obvious answer here was that he liked /me/. He liked me and I killed him. I made him chase after that cat when it was never in any danger. I was just being a dick and it cost him his life.

I hadn't really thought about it very much but it really was my fault. I liked to think that if I knew it was the last seconds of his life I would have been a lot nicer. I definitely wouldn't have yelled at him. I did though and I had to live with that until my dying day.

I looked at the clock that hung above my dresser. The time was twelve something and I, of course, had to work at one so I'd probably be late.

The background of the clock almost made me smile as it reminded me of one of the only reasons I stayed alive so long; Ruby. She was a little shit but I'd loved her so much. She had made the clock for me our of a kit she'd bought from WalMart. The background was a crudely drawn guinea pig and one of the hands was on backwards. I wanted to kill myself quite a few times but she pulled me through the most.

She had been practically attached to my hip we were so close, I'd bring her with me when I hung out with my friends. But like most teenage girls she fell in 'love' with someone and deemed the asshat more worthy of her time than me. I didn't blame her, I wasn't the best person ever. I kinda blamed myself for ever thinking that she'd be different than anyone else.

I was making myself feel like shit with all of this idle thinking. I wanted to call out but I knew that my thoughts would eat me alive if I did. At least at work my mind would be too busy. I could get drunk but that wouldn't solve anything.

I pushed myself up and out of bed reluctantly. I worked eight hours today. Joy.

I picked up a clean towel from my chair, where all my laundry was laying, before heading over to the bathroom. I turned the water on and let it warm up while I undressed.

I avoided looking at myself in the mirror, I was always disgusted with what I saw. My eyes somehow caught a glimpse of my figure and decided to disobey my wishes though.

I looked a lot skinnier than I remembered being. My eyes were bloodshot and void of emotion, the bags under them seeming to make them droop. My hair was getting long, or longer than I usually let it get. It was beginning to hang just below my jawline in the back and on the sides. In the front, it hung into my face while swooping off to the side. It had a natural curve to it from all the years of styling.

I didn't even bother to look at my teeth. I pressed my lips together to keep from seeing them at all. The top row wasn't too bad. There were two teeth that were a bit behind the others but they were straight for the most part. The bottom row was the exact opposite. The teeth down there were crooked and sticking out in different direction. I was told that I had a small bottom jaw and that was why it was happening, but I never got it fixed. Since then my wisdom teeth had grown in and fucked them up more. There was no way in hell we'd ever afford braces or good dental and my parents somehow made just enough to be denied state funding. Thanks to our shitty healthcare system, I'd never smile without feeling disgusting.

I hopped in and cleaned myself off. I was used to taking quick showers since we used to have limited hot water. It was a hidden talent of mine. It was the only talent of mine, actually. I wanted to bask in the water all day and lean against the wall until the only thing I felt was the droplets running over my skin. I was pressed on time so I didn't.

I turned the water off and stepped out, grabbing my towel. The cold air wrapped around me like a blanket. It sent a chill down my spine and caused me to shiver a little. I wrapped the towel around my body tightly to try and fight it off.

I hurried to my bedroom across the hallway. I knew that my mom was the only one home but I still didn't want anyone to see my naked body. I had enough self respect for that.

I dropped my towel on the floor and grabbed a clean pair of boxers, slipping them on before my work shirt. It was collared and black, the shitty logo on the left sleeve in bright yellow letters. I hadn't done my laundry recently and I was soon reminded this when I looked to see no washed pants. Well, none that weren't ugly. The only reason that I had a clean shirt was because Clyde used to work with me and when he quit he gave me all of his shirts. I decided that it was best to just wear a pair of pants that I'd worn before as I picked them up from the floor. They were tight but not skin tight, there was room to breathe. I slipped them on before looking at myself in the mirror.

Satisfied, I shoved my wallet and my phone into my pocket before heading downstairs.

I was ready to just leave but my mom called my name from the kitchen and stopped me in my tracks. I turned to see her in the doorway.

"Going to work, sweetie?" She asked. She had been smiling but it seemed to drop when she caught a glimpse of my face. "You look exhausted. Can't you call out?" She took a few worried steps towards me.

I scoffed. "They don't care how tired I am, they'd fire me if I called out. It doesn't matter that I watched some kid die." I could practically hear my manager threatening to fire me. He was such a prick that I knew he'd actually do it.

My mom suddenly went pale as she started at me. I turned my head to look away. Even if she wasn't my real mom, I felt guilty when she was anything other than happy. I heard her heavy steps approaching me, I could have sworn I felt the ground shake under her feet. She suddenly grabbed my shoulders. "Y-you..watched someone...die?" The last word came out in a whisper.

I went wide-eyed immediately. I felt my heart skip at her comment and I was glad I wasn't looking at her. I was angry. How could she forget something so terrible? My voice came out shaky at first. "Are you kidding me? How could you forget?" I felt her hands slide off of me as I got louder. "You fucking picked me up! You were there when they scraped his body off of the cement! You drove for an hour until you ended up pulling over so I could puke my brains out!" My teeth started to grind.

"Craig, honey... I t-think you had a really bad dream. I'm s-" Her voice was meek compared to mine. Fear was apparent in it and I knew I had to leave before I got to worked up.

"Whatever, mom. Fuck off. I'm leaving." I turned away without another word, slipping my shoes on. I slammed the door as I left.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

I couldn't help but wonder if it really was only just a dream. I didn't remember how I had gotten into my bed last night, after all. At the same time, if it was just a dream I wasn't sure what I'd actually done after hanging out with Kenny.

Maybe the whole thing was a dream. Maybe I was actually just waking up from being drunk at Bebe's last night. Why would I dream of waking up in the back of a truck with Kenny though? None of it made sense. I don't think that my mom was dumb enough to forget something like that.

I'd just stop at Kenny's on the way home and see if he's there. If he is, it'll solve a lot. I don't really wanna break down in front of him and I was sure he was going to annoy the piss out of me but I couldn't run forever.

The assistant manager was in today so I wasn't too worried about being caught on my phone. She always made googlie eyes at me like I'd think she was cute or something, which she would be if she wasn't such a bitch. The only thing the girls ever liked about me was my 'bad boy' reputation.

I flipped through the messages that were unread. There were quite a few, most asking me to be safe while others told me not to hesitate to ask if I needed a ride. It made me feel a little less pathetic. I noticed at the time stamps. August thirteenth. I looked at the date on my registers screen to confirm that it was indeed the fourteenth. Relief and sadness both washed over me.

That meant that the party was last night and Kenny was probably alive. That also meant that I had yelled at my mother for no reason though.

I was such a fuck up. I bet she regrets adopting me.

I heard someone set their things on the counter. It was some guy in his late forties who was looking at me expectantly. I shoved my phone into my back pocket as I approached him. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with people but I did anyway. "Hello, how're you, sir?"

Continuing to act like I cared about these deadbeats, I rang them up as quickly as possible. I just wanted to be done with this and leave. I made sure to mentally flip them all off.

Once I'd gotten through the crowd I let out a sigh. I couldn't believe how dumb people were. A nap would be very much enjoyed.

Of course it would be a miracle to have any peace though. The Assistant manager walked up to me with a smile on her face. "You doing okay, Craig? You look tired."

She was giving me that face that I hated. Her eyes got big and she blinked all slow like, her lips hanging slightly open. She shifted her weight onto one leg, shoving her dirty blonde hair back over her shoulder. She was shorter than me by quite a bit. I was somewhere around five nine and she stood about five feet three inches tall. She wore the managers version of my shirt and a pair of faded blue pants, both skin tight.

I knew she would give me anything I asked for, but I didn't really want her to think for a second that I'd ever flirt back. "I just wanna leave." I muttered.

She frowned. "You're so lucky you leave! I'm here until closing!" She slumped forward into the counter with a groan.

"Sucks to be you. Besides, you got model employee A to help you so you'll survive." I was talking about Bradley Biggle, of course.

"Yeah but-" the bell to the front doors rang and I interrupted her almost immediately.

"Hello, how're you?" I said before even bothering to look up at the person. I would take any excuse I could get to ignore her. Once I saw that orange parka though, my heart stopped. Paired with that blonde hair, baby blues and a goofy grin I knew it had to be him.

"Hey, babe. What's cracking?" It was like nothing had ever even happened.

I was like a deer in headlights. I couldn't do anything but stare at him in disbelief. If this was a dream then it was some fucked up shit. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. He was still there every time I opened my eyes. "Kenny...?" My voice came out weak.

He furrowed his brows. "Yeah, it's me, dude. What's up?" He gave me the same look that my mom had when I left.

"Go wait for me outside." I had regained composure just enough to make demands.

He just chuckled. "Oh c'mon. Are you forcing me out of the store?!"

I flipped him off. "Leave."

"I want the corporate number!" He feigned shock before putting his hands on his hips over dramatically. I just rolled my eyes. "Fine! I won't report you this time since you're so cute." He started backing up towards the door.

"Good, fuck face." I raised my other hand to flip him off as well.

He made guns with his hands, pointing at me as he clicked his tongue suggestively. "I'll be waiting, sexy." I growled and he ran out of the store.

He was so fucking annoying. Why did I ever care about him?

"Wait, you're gay?" My manager asked, looking disappointed.

"Yeah."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

The rest of work was dragging on for what felt like forever. Bradley came in to relieve me of my position, so I wasn't too worried about leaving on time. He was the perfect example of a model employee. He aced the secret shopper with a hundred.

He was so smiley that it made me want to puke. This was like his dream job or something. He asked me the same exact thing everyone else did, and I said I was fine. He said that I looked sad. I said it was because I always was. With a 'feel better' he paused, his fingers fidgeting with each other as his hands hovered over his chest nervously.

I laughed both mentally and bitterly at how he reminded me of Tweek.

I didn't bother to tell the manager that I was leaving, it wasn't like it mattered anyway. She most likely was going to do a three-sixty on me and be a cunt since she knew now that she stood no chance. I threw the tacky apron that I had to wear into the office and my name tag into my back pocket.

The store front was covered in windows, so the transition in lighting on my eyes wasn't too bad when I stepped outside. The temperature change was a different story, it was a lot cooler outside.

The first thing that I always saw when I stepped out was a gorgeous tree line. It stood at the other end of the parking lot, which was built much bigger than it needed to be. It was the only nice thing about living out here, really. The view, that is. I never felt the need to go into them but they still fascinated me.

I figured I'd enjoy a cigarette with my random thoughts, Kenny didn't seem to be around anyway. I'm sure he'd come back, he was too annoying to just leave me alone. This plan was short lived when I heard a voice call my name.

I turned in the direction it came from only to be greeted with a dorky grin. I hadn't even noticed that he was there which kind of scared me. Kenny was propped against the corner of the building, enjoying a cigarette of his own. I licked my lips at the sight of it, I really needed one. He pushed himself up and off of the wall and started towards me. He flicked the ashes away as he spoke. "I charge a hundred an hour, big boy. Twenty extra for kinky shit."

I immediately flipped him off and turned away. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with his shit right now. He tugged me back towards him though before I got too far.

"Chill, dude. I was kidding."

I ripped my arm away from his grasp, turning to look at him with frustration. "I saw you fucking die." I said coldly. "This will never be a joke for me, real or not."

His eyes went wide then darted off of mine. When he laughed, it turned my stomach inside out. This time it wasn't because I didn't like him, hell I was never disgusted with him enough to feel this, but it was because of how melancholy it was. So fucking sad. "You're silly, babe. You must have just had a b-"

"No, it wasn't." The possibility of it being just a dream was pretty high and I knew that's what he was going to say. That laugh convinced me that it wasn't though, something was going on. Even if none of it made sense, I knew something was wrong. "I will never wipe the image from my memory. I can practically smell your blood just thinking about it.." I began to shiver involuntarily as my stomach continue to churn. I was honestly going to blow chunks any second.

He looked at me but it was short lived. As soon as he realized I was staring back at him and our gazes met, his eyes darted away again. "You just had way too much to drink." He raised a finger to scratch his cheek.

Why was he acting like this? I wanted to beat the shit out of him. "How are you alive?!" I raised my voice, tired of this dumb game we were playing. "How, Kenny?!"

He looked a bit surprised before he ended up shaking his head at me. A smile consumed his lips again and he threw his cigarette on the ground. "Come on a date with me!" He began to grin from ear to ear, acting like I hadn't just asked him a question.

"Why are you like this?"

"Because I've been in love with you for God knows how long and now you somehow remember what no one else ever does. Now yes or no?"

"Kenny..wh-"

"That doesn't sound like an answer to me." He frowned.

"Fine, what the fuck ever. You gotta tell me what the hell is happening though." I wasn't going to just do this, I had to get answers.

"Perfect, let's go~" He grabbed my hand in his and I didn't protest. We turned to the right, away from the woods and towards town.

I was hardly paying attention to what he was doing once we started walking. I think it was mainly because I was trying to take my mind off of the fact that we were holding hands. I felt like I had way to much saliva in my mouth and I didn't want to gulp. For some reason I thought he might hear it and there was no way in hell that Kenneth McCormick was going to know that he made me nervous.

He stopped abruptly and I almost ran into his back. If it hadn't been for how far I was dragging behind I definitely would have.

He motioned his hand around like he was Vanna White, presenting the strip in front of us. "Pick a restaurant, any restaurant. It's my treat."

I looked at the options. An Olive Garden, a Chinese place, a burger joint and some high end hibachi. "You can't afford any of this." I said coldly. Really, I just didn't want to be the one to pick. I hated making decisions for other people because I had anxiety, and I usually got worried that I would make the wrong choice. Since Kenny was paying that made it worse. What if he ended up paying for food he didn't want?

"I'm rolling in cash, babe~ What are you talking about?" He raised his brows at me cockily.

I rolled my eyes in response. "Yeah, right."

"I got the money, that's all you need to know. Now pick, I'm starving!" He whined like a kid who was being refused candy.

I couldn't chose so I just went with what I usually ate. "I like Chinese food." I muttered. I actually think that 'like' was an understatement. I really had a problem. I was basically addicted to coffee and Chinese food. I was surprised I didn't look like Cartman, since that was basically my entire diet. I threw up a lot though so it wasn't a shock I guess. From alcohol. Mostly.

"Chinese it is!" He laughed like I told some kind of joke. It made me feel like shit seeing how happy I made him. "This way, my lady~"

"I changed my mind, I wanna go home."

"Too late!"

He practically dragged me there by my arm. I had to admit that I loved how adorable the place was. It was definitely independently owned, this made apparent by the home made screen door. The inside was a lot smaller than it looked, though I think they were all like this.

"Hi, how can I help you?" The lady behind the counter asked with her cute little accent.

"I'll take a General Tso combo." He answered before looking at me expectantly.

"U-uh, same thing." I nodded to her. She picked up a menu and circled the order, scribbling a '2x' beside it. She then handed it to some guy in the back before returning to us.

"It'll be ten minute." She smiled.

"Okay, thanks." He started to tug on my hand to pull me to a table, but I couldn't help but notice that she was staring at it.

Once we sat down I sighed, happy to finally be off my feet. Work had really tired me out. I leaned my head on the table as my arms drooped into my lap.

"You alright?" Kenny's voice sounded so distant. His fingers felt nice though as they moved to brush against my hair. I know I should have been really against him petting me, but it really was calming.

I turned my head so that it was resting on the other cheek and so I could look at him. He smiled softly once our eyes locked. His fingers instead brushed the hair from my face.

"You're annoying." I mumbled, not breaking our gaze. His cheeks were starting to tinge a different color. I was good at noticing the little things, like how his eyes shined brighter in the sunlight and the little freckles that littered his face.

"You're adorable." I brushed his hand away at the comment.

"I'm not adorable. Do I look like a child or something?" I scoffed.

"Nah, I knew you when you were a child. You look a lot different now." His hands folded together on the table in front of him and I was kinda glad that he knew his boundaries.

We have known each other a long time, huh? It kinda felt like yesterday, all those projects together, but it was actually a long time ago. We were adults now. Adults who don't know what we we're doing with our pathetic lives, who were no longer in school and had to work for our money.

"Mmm.. It's been a long time since we hung out."

"Unless you count going to Clyde's."

I dunno why but Clyde really enjoyed Kenny's presence. He was the only one though, since Tweek and Token really weren't fans. And me...I don't know how I felt. "Yeah, but we never really talk when we're at his house together. You guys bullshit while me and the other guys find something else to do."

He went silent for a bit before he spoke again. "It has been a long time than."

I let my eyes fall shut as I tried to bask in the silence that followed. I could have fallen asleep if it weren't for Kenny talking again. "Craig?"

"Hmmm?" I didn't have the energy to form words.

"Uh.. Nevermind. "

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

I reluctantly got up and off of the table after he paid for our food. I was under the impression that we were eating there but he clearly had other plans. He was nervous when he asked to hold my hand this time, probably because I'd pushed his hand away before. I said yes for some reason, which I blamed on feeling bad for him since I was so mean. In truth, I think I was just happy he was alive.

We walked on the same stretch of road that we had been on the day before. I unintentionally squeezed Kenny's hand in mine. I was scared. I made him walk on the side towards the ditch while I was closer to the road.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay by you today no matter what.." He said in almost a whisper. It made me relax a bit.

We eventually came up to a trail that looked quite sketchy, but anything was better than this cursed road. He didn't really say anything to me about where we were going but I trusted him for the time being.

It was by the old farm so I assumed it was used for that at some point. It was somewhat overgrown now, to the point where I had to watch my every step. No one had taken it in some time but recent enough for us to be able to follow it.

A few animals fled from us as we made our way through the tall grass and snow.

It wasn't too long until we reached a pair of train tracks that intercepted the path. Kenny tugged me off the trail to follow them instead.

There were spots missing that I was sure were stolen by scrapers or people desperate for money. Hell, if I ever got to that point I knew where to come.

The tracks were far more overrun by nature than the trail, clearly having not been used for a very long time. Even so, I was worried that some ghost train would come and snatch him away from me again. I wouldn't let that happen.

He hopped up onto one of the rails and began to walk along it. He kept his right hand in mine while the other raised straight out to help him keep his balance. He was holding the food, which I'd offered to take hold. I guess he was trying to be 'Gentlemanly '.

I wondered if these were the same woods I saw every time I walked out of work. They could have been for all I knew.

When we had first started walking along the tracks the trees were far from them. They seemed to get closer and closer the farther we walked. Then I noticed that they really were. They came so close that, even when I walked in between the rails, I could reach my hand it and touch them. Maybe they'd started clearing to rebuild. That or there was an outbreak of trees right here.

"Where the fuck are we going?" I finally asked, beginning to feel very uncomfortable.

"You'll see, it's a surprise." He winked as his pointer finger covered his lips to shush me.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm walking in the woods, miles from my house and all civilization, with someone that I don't even like. Real surprising..."

"I love you, dude, but shut up."

"You're not going to kill me, right?"

"Why would I buy you Chinese food?"

"To earn my trust! Or as an alibi." I nodded thoughtfully.

"You watch too many movies. Last time I checked I'd be the one to die." He hopped back down onto level ground with me as I watched him with dumb curiosity. His hair leaned in his face but he moved it away with a whip of his head. I was so caught up in staring at the loser that I almost didn't hear him, so I was somewhat confused when we stopped.

"This is it!" He said excitedly. When he turned his head to meet my gaze I looked away quickly.

The first thing I saw was the foreboding fence. It was blocking the train tracks from this point on. A sign lopsidedly hung on the fence, reading "Danger! Keep Out".

It appeared to still be intact at first, which was weird since it looked like people had taken advantage of the rest of it. It wasn't until Kenny started towards the right most edge that I saw it'd been bent open.

He went through first and I prayed to every god that he didn't fall through or anything. He turned to pull me up right after, though the step up was only about two feet I was kinda glad we still held onto me.

Standing up there, I got a better look at everything. The tracks were now surrounded by a wood section, which looked to be holding them up. The wood extended about two feet on either side of them, with a waist high railing. Vines wove in and out of the boards and plants grew from a top of the rotting bridge. It was more sturdy than it looked though. Even so, I checked every board cautiously before putting all of my weight on it.

Walking through the vegetation we came up to a spot that was completely cleared. Boards that looked much safer and more new covered the old ones. An old telescope and what appeared to be a burn mark from a fire were the only things that stood out to me.

"Welcome to my secret hideout! I know, the shitty bridge is the best part~" he was joking, I think. I didn't know with him.

His hand let go of mine and I became aware of how sweaty it was, wiping it on my pants. Fucking nasty.

He dropped the food onto the ground gently. "Look around. The views kinda nice."

I gave a nod of acknowledgement before heading towards the side. I trusted this spot more than the rest of the structure but I was still careful. God knows when this thing was last used.

I got that sudden rush of fear as I looked over the railing. I always got this feeling whenever I looked off of anything over ten feet off the ground. Hell, the second floor of the mall scared me. The drop wasn't too far though, and the water was still. You wouldn't die from this fall. I felt at ease knowing this.

Looking at the surroundings, I determined that we were above a very large lake. Surrounding it was an endless sea of forest. The mountains were set off in the distance, some shrouded in clouds. All in all, the place really was beautiful.

When I turned back to Kenny, he was sitting criss-cross with his hands on his lap, staring right at me. The corners of his lips curled upwards. "Take it all in?"

I sat across from him, letting my legs curl under me. He took the food out, handing me mine first. "It's nice." I mumbled as I took it from him. It was hot, so much so that I had to quickly sit it on the ground.

"Awh, poor Craig's delicate hands~" he teased and I flipped him off.

He handed me my fork. After that, we ate in silence for a bit before he broke the awkward air.

"What's happening between you and Tweek?"

The question was bold and I was a little surprised. It made sense though, since he was trying to earn my affection. I didn't look at him, just stared down at my food, shoving it around with my fork. I took a deep breath. "We dated, the end of middle school and the first year of high school. In that time it felt like we were still the same as always. I think I just wanted him to warm up to me eventually. He never did." I paused as I tried not to let my emotions get the best of me. "It was hard, I really liked him. The most we ever did was hold hands and I kissed his head. I think we only actually kissed like twice. I understood, but in the end he told me I pressured him too much. I made him do things he didn't want to and he didn't feel the same. So he ended it, and I felt worthless. I fucked up the one good thing I had. Now he barely talks to me." I was letting it all out to someone who could turn around and throw it in my face. I trusted him though.

"That really fucking sucks, I'm sorry." He sounded truly sympathetic and it made me feel like a little piece of the world was lifted from my shoulders.

I shook my head, a smile forcing it's way onto my lips. "Ya know, that's the first time I ever talked about this with anyone. We kinda kept it a secret, so no one knew. Not even Token. It feels good.."

"Hey, I'm here for ya." I glanced up to see him pretending to pull the strings together in his hoodie. "My hoodie is sealed! I won't say a word."

"Thanks.." I nodded. I had a question of my own, one that I'd wondered about this morning and that was now resurfacing in my mind. "Hey, what kinda things do you like?" I muttered, half hoping he didn't hear it.

He seemed eager to answer though. "I like you, of course!" He started chuckling, his eyes always on me. "I also really like NASCAR, and drawing is fun but I'm not very good." He tugged the back of his neck nervously. "Are we playing twenty questions?"

"No."

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Whatever."

"Do you think you could ever fall in love with me? Like ever?"

I didn't want to answer this, I knew the answer was yes. I was a weak sack of shit that would probably fall in love with anyone who tried hard enough. Kenny was a good looking guy and he seemed plenty interested. I kind of saw me in him though, the me that was trying to get Tweek to love me for so long. "Do I have to answer that..?"

"Why else would I ask?" He slumped.

"Yes. I think I could."

"Then I'll never give up." He grinned. His teeth were just as crooked as mine but he didn't seem to care at all.

"Holy shit, what have I done. Now you'll never le-"

"Dance with me!"

"What? Why?" I furrowed my brows, looking at him.

"Yeah, I wanna dance!" He rose to his feet, outstretching his hand for mine. "It's okay, you can step on my feet. I'll teach you to be good."

"To what music?" I was clearly trying to talk my way out of this.

"I have a phone, dipshit."

"I hate you." I stood up on my own, knocking his hand away. "What kind of song? Because I don't dance, and I'll be damned if you think I'm going to start bumping and rubbing on you." I did dance. A lot. That was when I was alone though, I wouldn't start dancing in front of him.

His fingers tapped at the screen on his phone for a moment before music started playing. He sat his phone on the ground and started shaking his hips a bit. The song was upbeat and most definitely by Maroon 5.

He started advancing towards me and I, in return, backed away. "C'mon, fucker. Just a little bit of dancing won't kill you." He reached out for me and I narrowly dodged him.

"No."

"Fine, but only because you're so fucking gorgeous today and if I scared you away because of this I'd be depressed." He proceeded to stare at me like I had something on my face.

"What?" I was resisting the urge to squirm under his gaze.

"Promise me you'll do a slow dance with me.."

"Why?"

"Humor me, please. In all seriousness it would mean the world to me."

I sighed, swallowing all the saliva in my mouth. "Fine."

The excitement on his face read similar to that of a dog about to get a treat. He scurried to his phone, picking it up long enough to change it to a song a lot slower. I knew the song as soon as the first note played. Gorillaz; Melancholy Hill. I always swore this would be one of the songs I danced to if I ever got serious with anyone. I want serious with Kenny but I decided that I'd let it slide because of the whole dying thing.

Kenny looked nervous as he approached me and it made my heart skip a beat. He almost looked cute. In the kind of way that a shy kid asking a beautiful girl out to prom is. I didn't understand why I had this effect on him but it made me kind of happy.

He took my hands and guided them up onto his shoulders. My fingers curled into the fabric gently, his own sliding down to my hips where they rested.

When he swayed, so did I. At one point I practically stomped right on his foot. He just chuckled. "You can step on my feet. It's all right, just relax a little."

I took a deep breath, my heart racing as I moved my arms to wrap around his neck instead. I paid attention to my movements, looking to my feet every once in a while. "You should feel lucky, I didn't even dance at prom."

"You went to prom?" He sounded surprised, like he thought he'd known everything about me and I ruined it.

It kinda hurt that he hadn't even noticed. The person who was supposed to be madly in love with me didn't know I went to a function he did a month ago. "Kenny, I can't do this.." I tried to push him away but his arms wrapped firmly sound me and held me on place.

"Craig..." I couldn't look at his disgusting face so I turned my head away.

"I don't want to play this game. I don't need to be used and tossed aside like you do to everyone."

"It's not a ga-"

"You didn't even notice that I was at prom. I went with Kyle for crying out loud! I was with your best friend and I'm supposedly the love of your life but you didn't know that much?"

"I didn't know Kyle went either!"

I finally wormed my way out of his grasp. He got my wrist as I tried to walk away though. "Fuck you, Kenny."

"I didn't know it meant that much to you. I'm sorry, this is all my fault. I got drunk before I went because I was going with Tammy and that made me unhappy. I wanted to go with you. I didn't think you'd ever go though, and Kyle is almost more apathetic than you at this point. The only way he tells me shit is if he's drunk.."

Had he really been drunk..? I could feel my expression soften and my eyes threaten to water. I blinked quickly to prevent them from getting a chance. "I...I guess I just wanted someone to notice me... I'm sorry.."

He slipped his hand from my wrist down to hold my hand. "Plenty of people notice you." His thumb stroked the skin on the back of my hand and it felt good. I felt safe letting my guard down.

"Hah, sure.." Clyde and Token were too busy with Nicole and Bebe and Kyle never really liked me. He just needed a substitute that he could pretend was Stan.

"The same goes for me then." He nodded and I wasn't sure what he meant. That no one really cared for him either. I guess that was true, except maybe I did. "Hey, just out of dumb curiosity, did you and Kyle.. No, nevermind. It's not my business."

"We made out for a long time and I thought that maybe he was gonna try to do something and maybe I'd let it happen. He got up and suddenly left though." I answered truthfully. I knew Kyle wasn't into me but I also knew there were rumors around school about him sleeping around. I knew why he did it, I think that the way I felt that night was the way he felt all the time. He just wanted to feel something from anyone because he couldn't get it where he really needed it. I was, admittedly, ready to fuck him for the same reason. I was fucked up, I needed something to let me know I was alive still. I was still a virgin and I had been so eager to give it up. I think Kyle respected me too much to use me. I dunno.

Kenny sighed like he was thinking the same about his friend. I could tell he was worried for him too. "He'll be all right." I assured him. "Someone will come along and save him from himself. I know you don't want to hear this but you can't do anything besides listen and be there for him."

"Maybe I could-"

"No. I know what he's going through and you can't do anything."

He looked genuinely sad at that, but his face soon perked up. "Hey, does that mean I'm the person who's saving you?"

I wanted to laugh sarcastically or make a rude comment but instead I got flustered. Maybe he was. I felt like my life was completely different when he was around. It could have been the whole dying thing but who knows. I shouldn't be getting all flustered either way.

"Shut up." I retorted and he grabbed my other hand as well.

With a quick tug he pulled me into him. I was surprised he didn't stumble back the way I collided into his chest. I was too surprised to act as he pressed his forehead to mine when I tried to look up at him. My eyes darted all over his face, searching every inch for an answer as to what was happening.

When he finally said something, it came out gruff and low. "Make me."

I'd be lying if I said that his voice alone didn't made the blood rush below my belt. "So you want me to smack the shit out of you.."

He laughed breathily. "I'm into it~" I couldn't respond for, right after the comment, his lips pressed into mine firmly. I pushed at him half-heartedly, kind of liking the way it made me feel. He pulled back but it was replaced with another kiss, then another. They started getting longer and longer and before I knew it his tongue was prodding at mine.

I parted my lips to allow entrance. The wet muscle slid against mine and I sighed into his mouth with pleasure. I moved my hands to grab his forearms tightly as his fingertips dug into my hips. The power he was using to hold onto me only turned me on more. The hornier I got, the sloppier our make out session turned.

I know that most people wanted their first time to be slow and meaningful, but I knew it'd hurt either way. There was no way I was topping Kenny either. I wanted him to fuck the shit out of me with those skilled hips.

Fear was flooding me like it'd infected my blood though. I was terrified at the same time. I'd never done anything more than give a blow job to Thomas, and even then I'd practiced and researched like it was some test. I suddenly wanted to stop. I was panicking for no reason but I didn't have the will power to pull away. I was starting to feel similar to what I imagine Tweek felt and immediately felt like shit.

By some miracle it was like he knew and he stopped. His face was flushed and he was panting slightly. I looked away, beyond embarrassed.

"Craig, I don't want you like this until your ready. This is too much in the heat of the moment, I don't want you to regret it."

I just nodded and wiped my mouth on my sleeve. The taste of his lips lingered I'm my mouth no matter how much I swallowed. "Can..we go home now.."

"Of course." His voice as calm as always, like nothing had happened. I heard a step follow his cheery voice. He planted a quick kiss on my head then walked away.

When I looked up he was taking his phone from the ground and putting it in his pocket. I took a deep breath to try and slow my heart down. After I felt calm enough, I made my way to our food, picking it up and dropping it into the bag. After it was all in there, I stood up straight and held it out for him to take. He'd carried it here so I figured he'd want to carry it back.

He took it, as well as my hand, and we started to walk back.

We were quiet, he walked on the rail again with rather good balance. It was nice to be worth him like this.

"I'm glad you didn't murder me.." I mumbled, getting an immediate laugh from him.

"I would never." He squeezed my hand in his. "I'm glad that you didn't have to see me die again."

"Fuck, yeah."

I looked at him as he watched his feet, making sure to not fall. He'd take me down with him if he did.

Trying to not be creepy, I looked off to the opposite side and into the vast rows of trees. I could get lost out here so easily. At this point, it sounded like a better fate than living in South Park. Plus, Kenny might be safer. Not that I cared that much.

"Hey, can I come out here sometime? Like, if I need to just get away from something for a while."

"Of course. Just don't bring anyone besides me~ I keep this place a secret from everyone but you." He peered at me through bright eyes.

"How do you know no one else found it?"

"I don't, I guess. I keep it really hidden, though. That's why the fence is open at a spot where you wouldn't see it easily, and why I didn't clear out the first half of the bridge." He nodded in agreement with himself. In agreement with what, I dunno. "A lot of people would either be to lazy to break through the fence, or would be to scared to venture to far into the brush where you can't see anything. I can't die so I wasn't really worried."

"Smart." I hadn't really thought of it too much since I'd trusted him to lead me in but it really was a good idea. Maybe he wasn't as dumb as I thought.

Maybe Kenny really was a good guy who actually loved me. Maybe he really did just take me out here to earn my trust and not betray me. Maybe he really was just too miserable to go to prom sober.

He was the only person I had right now, whether I liked it or not. He was the person who could keep me alive.

"Ahh! Fucking, bug."

His sudden talking scared me, making me jump a bit. I turned my head quickly to look at him. "You okay?"

I was surprised to see him still standing and exactly the way I'd seen him last. His gaze was fixed on his shirt though, and I followed it to see the source of his scare. "Yeah, it's just a cricket. I'm just always on edge though. It makes it worse that you're right beside me."

"You think I could come back if I died?" I couldn't l help but stare at that fucking cricket. I don't know why, but it was like I knew it was a bad omen. Suddenly, it made that dumb sound that they made and it echoed through my ears. Then I heard it, the sound of millions surrounding us.

"Maybe...I don't wanna find out." I was so scared, I froze, stopping in my tracks. Kenny obviously didn't notice until my arm wouldn't let him go further. "Craig...?"

The cricket jumped onto my leg and I felt like it was looking at me. I squished it with my free hand as sweat dripped down my forehead.

"We have to go."


End file.
